apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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