By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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