I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
