sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
