So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
