Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm getting married
To pizza
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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