Kiss
Puke
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize