Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
