I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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