even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
