I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
