so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize