I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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