I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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