i need an iv and a liver transplant
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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