you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
