i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
