so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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