remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
