"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So vagazzling was a success
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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