if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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