Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
