She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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