I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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