i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize