In the future we'll all be gay
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The feeling are messing with the penis
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I pour the whiskey from now on
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
