I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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