It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
