This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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