That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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