and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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