The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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