Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
