She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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