Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
