I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
