I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
