Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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