At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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