the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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