shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize