Where is the hickey?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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