you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
