I can tuck mytits in my pants
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
