Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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