please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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