Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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