she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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