for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
