I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
