I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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