She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
