I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just found puke in my bra..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize