Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
