Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
