omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
