If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
