Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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