people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i dont even know how to be here
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize