Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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