I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
