i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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