So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
