Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
